Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Youth Group
One of my favorite aspects of leading the ALIVE ministry is its youngest members. I’m not much of a small child person, but I get along great with youth as soon as they hit about thirteen. I remember my teenage years very vividly and am still not too far from them that I can’t relate and clearly remember what that age is like as though it happened just yesterday.
Recently, I had a discussion with a couple of the not-yet-twenty-year-olds that got me thinking. They’re fresh out of youth group phase and struggling with some issues that I had already dealt with and moved on from by the time I was about 17 . I was surprised at their limited understanding of serious, consequential subjects and the overall report about their peers. I wondered where the short circuit must be, not to lay blame but to help provide some solution. The answer came quickly. Youth group at our church is just not the same as it was when I was in it. I distinctly remember my youth group years being full of hyperactivity, loud music, plenty of good friends and very challenging instruction about all types of issues. In fact, the youth minister and all of its leaders were pretty hardcore with their teaching, expectations and emphasis on our fast development in the areas of service and leadership. I heard about the subjects of leadership, evangelism, purity and dating over and over and over again. But it was so good for me. SO good for me.
Sometimes people notice that I’m a little different. A bit more secure in my faith and a lot more confident in my standards. Maybe not so much anymore because i’m at a more settled stage of life, but before marriage and during those unstable years of dating and figuring out a career path and deciding where to live, I was often asked where I got my strength and good discernment from. These were Christian peers and parents asking this, so I knew they were looking for a practical, non-spiritual answer. I would tell them “well, I had an excellent youth group.”
I still believe that the above-standard training I received in youth group is a major, major part of who I am today and how I was able to make quick, solid decisions leading up to today. Because of my own experience, and in recognizing the weakness of many adult believers who didn’t have very strong youth groups themselves, I firmly believe that youth group can make or break a Christian youth’s future.
A fantastic youth group can turn a rebellious non-believing kid from a non-Christian home into one of the most influential pastors in the community. It can also reinforce the standards Christian parents are teaching at home like nothing else quite can.
A weak youth group teaches weak faith and does nothing to strengthen a very easily influenced youth in their commitment to Christ. It can undo what parents are teaching at home by giving youth poor examples of godliness from leaders and even present them with compromising situations where they can make major mistakes that have life-long consequences. I have seen this time and time again.
As Christians, do we realize how vital the youth group ministry is? Do we recognize that youth are already solidifying their standards of purity and finding a mate and how much they will risk for Jesus when they’re 15, 16, 17? Do we consider how unstable the years straight out of high school are and that young adults will be at their most vulnerable (and stupidest) during those times? Do we tell the youth in our lives about our mistakes and how they should avoid doing the same? Are they grounded enough through hardcore truth, constant reiteration of biblical principles and wise accountability that they can not only keep themselves pure but set the standard for the rest of their friends?
I am so, so grateful for the kind of youth group I was a part of. I can only hope I have and will be faithful to pass on the same to the next generation. Even if they’re my own age. Even if they’re just a little younger. We need to tell them how it should be. They need more than what the average youth group is giving. Much, much more.
Nice. Wish I had that when I was growing up. But He works all things out for the good.
I think that’s the reason why I like to mentor youths these days – cos I wasn’t given the opportunity to be part of a youth group back then when I was younger.
Thanks for the blog post
I like the topic and your discussion of it, but I disagree with your conclusion about where your strength and foundation came from.
You got your foundation from your parents, and the youth group just helped to cultivate that (especially since your mom was involved in the youth group).
One of the biggest mistakes we are making in the church today is that we are expecting the professional ministers to do the work of teaching the children when that is the Biblical responsibility of the PARENTS. Especially the dads.
I think you’ll find that the young people you talk to who are easily influenced and who might have questionable standards for themselves are in that situation because they have received inadequate training at home. Perhaps their parents aren’t very strong Christians themselves, or perhaps they just don’t model their Christianity well for their children. Either way, they have failed in their duties as Christian parents.
I hope I don’t end up in that category.
Youth group is fun, but it is no substitute for a deliberate, stable, Christian home.
Hey Jason – thanks for your comment! I realized when creating this post that I wasn’t emphasizing the parental role in a student’s good discernment and foundation. I agree with your point completely. I think the ideal scenario is solid teaching at home + the reinforcement of a good youth group at church. What I didn’t make clear in the post is that the students i’m talking to actually do come from homes that are just as strong in teaching and example as mine was, and i’m sure of that. In my experience, my parents did set specific standards for us kids but they didn’t go into a lot of detail on the why and when because I hated serious discussions with my parents and preferred to get that from my leaders at youth. That’s another subject for another post, haha.
It’s very common for a child to get boundaries from their parents – which they just know they have to obey – and the wisdom behind those boundaries from outside support like youth group leaders. I know that was my case. Some children are more teachable at home and listen better to their parent’s reasoning, but a lot prefer to have more vulnerable, serious discussions with an outside figure. That was me.
(Hey. New here. Fellow WorshipChick.)
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. I’m in youth ministry and it’s more often than not a struggle about this very idea. Do we make it fun and easily-accessible, or do we make it foundational and maybe a little tougher? I lean toward the later, but it’s always hard to resist the shiny programs that promise big numbers.
So thank you. And thank you.
Hey I just had a chance to read this post… sorry I got behind haha.
So, to continue this conversation that we’ve had before… I remember when I started youth group, I always saw people like your brother, meghan, elizabeth, etc and I always thought they were the coolest. They were totally sold-out on fire for God and they were not ashamed of that fact. They lived their lives for Him and they let the world know. I would see them on Wed nights totally rocking out to the songs and I wanted to be like them. Now, I feel our youth group is kinda lagging in that department. Sure, we have some pretty amazing Christians in there who I love like crazy, but we need more people like them. Growing up, my peers in youth group were the ones who really challenged my faith and made me grow. Even right now, I would be totally off-base without some super-awesome girls (like you Lynz) to keep me on track.